Category: Fall 2022

Time has been flying by as far as college is concerned. At the beginning of entering the figurative Geneseo gates, I worried time would drag on and that I would struggle to find my niche; though, as I reflect in this final blog, I can say I am proud of myself for enhancing my ability to adapt. The road hasn’t all been smooth, but it’s gratifying to now have a sense of accomplishment. Nearing the end of this first semester and seeing the grades that follow hard work, and applying myself to the material is an incredible feeling. Figuring out college life has gotten easier through making friends, taking up new hobbies, and diving into my possible future that I may want to pursue. There are no limits, and I believe Geneseo has given me that mindset.

Midterms are over, finals are starting next week, and Christmas break is two weeks away; I think it went pretty smoothly. Going into my first college midterms was highly intimidating as I discovered new study strategies that worked best for me and decided what material I deemed essential. I had no idea what worked for me starting this year regarding studying. There was definitely a rocky period where I felt discouraged when I didn’t get the results I was hoping for. However, through trial and error (along with the understanding that the sun would still rise the next day if I didn’t get the grade I wanted) while understanding my study habits better, I got to know how my brain works. This Theatre Therapy for Veterans class focused on reading plays and the real-life events that molded them. After each act, we read and discussed as a class what we believe the key points are, which has been one of the exercises that aided me in realizing how I learn the material best. Having open talks about how different people interpret the exact text has given me a perspective I didn’t have before.

This course has become top of my list of classes since the start of the year. I was hesitant when I first saw it added to my schedule— the unknown is scary, especially when entering your first semester of college. I have many members of my family who have served our country, and through taking this class, I now think I can better understand their experiences. I feel as if, a lot of the time, it’s been sort of taboo to talk about people’s traumatic experiences in the context of being a veteran and living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. After learning more about the events people endure to protect and serve our country, I’ve gained a better sense of what’s appropriate in conversation and become more self-aware of my words and the effect they may have on people. Reading about how family members cope with their beloved family members serving our country gave me a whole new outlook on who is affected by war. I always purely thought of soldiers, but I’ve never thought of the parents, spouses, friends, and children that don’t have their service members and are constantly worrying about them. Reading about this side of war opened my eyes to the number of people it affects.

With the end of the semester nearing in a mere four weeks, I hope I continue to find success in all of my classes through grades as well as knowledge. I know myself enough to acknowledge that I get foggy towards this time of year with excitement for the holidays. Being mindful of this fact, though, helps with my tendency to drift off. My main goal is to stay aware of continuing to apply myself so finals go well. This is my final blog and closing in on this semester; I like the place I’m at. If you asked me at the beginning of the year how I thought the first semester would end, I probably would say stressful, but I’m content, and that’s all I could ask for. I’m incredibly grateful for the education I’ve been given.

Rounding out my reviews of my classes, we finish with INTD 105: Theatre Therapy for Veterans. In all honesty, before attending this course, I had my reservations. I had no idea what the course would entail, and I left it up to my imagination to decide how good or bad it would be. Having only a couple days of class left, I think it is safe to say that my conclusion about the course is that I am happy I was thrown in blindly. As unfortunate as that may seem, I would never have signed up to take this class, but that is the truth. However, I am so glad that I was because I was opened up to an abundance of knowledge about veterans, specifically about veterans who deal with PTSD as a result of serving time in the military. Even though not everyone has a connection to the military and to the people who put their lives on the line to defend our country, I think that everyone should learn about the effects of war and violence on those who serve and how they can help those who suffer when they are living in the dark.

Professor Arena was able to connect stories told through Theatre of War and Act of War into the real world and personal stories that she herself struggled with, making all the more points about PTSD from the books real. Also, because there were moments when the books brought up uncomfortable and graphic scenes, those moments were the most important as they were untold truths. They were uncomfortable because they were events that no one ever wanted to discuss, but it was necessary to talk about them. We learned that learning about PTSD through the lens of these unbelievable tragedies and events created healing outlets for veterans who have dealt with similar graphic events and who found peace in communicating their feelings concerning stories such as the Greek tragedies. I am glad that I was put into this class and am grateful for all the new things I have learned, considering I would have never learned about this had I not been randomly placed in this course.

Well, it seems as though that is all I have to say, so this is the end of the Anxious Girl’s Accounts, so until next time, dear readers. Godspeed.

By: Vivian Youmans

When starting my first week of Geneseo, I wanted to go home. I felt like I was the odd duckling among the rest of the students around me. I seemed to have convinced myself that I wasn’t going to find a good group of friends even to do the simplest things such as eat dinner with, but now being halfway through, I can see my next four years being here at Geneseo with some of the best people I’ve met. The most solidified thing for me now is a routine of when my classes are and where they are, and what I should be doing in between. I do have to say I am one to procrastinate a bunch, and that can lead to overwhelming stress on myself. Overall, I am more comfortable on campus than when I first started.

As far as my classes go, I believe I am in good standing. Each class of mine has an assignment due on the same day every week, which is beyond helpful in solidifying a routine. As I said before, procrastination has been falling heavily onto me recently. During the first weeks of class, I wanted to ensure I started in good standing, but now it is more of a mentality to have it in before it’s due. Even if that being it is turned in ten minutes before the cut-off time. On the plus side, I am pretty lucky to have no midterms, especially before fall break. I think I speak for myself and other students when I say the single-digit days before fall break drag on drastically. I am happy with what I have accomplished this far into the semester, and I’m excited to see where I am heading. 

One could talk about all of the classes in my schedule and how they have impacted me, but I have chosen to talk briefly about Theatre Therapy for Veterans. In the class, we have covered a wide range of materials, stretching from mental health to the effect PTSD has had over hundreds of years. When in class, we indulged in the readings of Bryan Doerries. He has made connections about love and how far it spans in his life, and I realize that I can make my own connections with love within my life so far at SUNY Geneseo. When I gave my goodbye hugs from my hometown family and friends, I found that making new friendships and finding that love here on campus is a must-do. As the months have gone by, I have noticed that no matter how far I am away from home, the distance won’t break the bond between my family and me. I am also speaking of love having a massive effect on me because I am one of many incoming freshmen with a long-distance relationship. That person can be thousands of miles away from you; luckily for me, it is only about a hundred. Back on track with the overall thoughts on the class so far, I say two words; absolutely fantastic. The readings and blogs have significantly impacted my view of this class and my writing tactics. 

By the end of the semester, I believe I will be in a comfortable position. To be able to see a finish line by mid-December, I have a reason to keep going. Honestly, I can’t say I will have the most fantastic grades. It can be stressful when you are still trying to a new setting and find the ropes. I firmly believe I will still have created halfway through the semester in December, maybe even the bonds I have more! Being more comfortable with my surroundings on campus is also a huge factor that I believe will be different than where I stand now. If someone were to ask me what is one thing I could say to another student to help them, it would be, “Do what makes you happy.” Make the choices that put a smile on your face; make the choices that make you proud to be where you are and do what you are doing.

Since midterms, I would say things have progressed a lot. Through the first two blogs, I explained how different college was from high school and the massive change in environment I was experiencing. However, after coming out of my midterms, I have begun to realize that I am becoming accustomed to the college environment. In most of my classes, I have seen a positive effect on my grade after using more of the resources offered to me. Using these resources has influenced my grades more positively. By now, I feel more comfortable with all my teachers and have no problem scheduling appointments during office hours before any tests. I have begun to utilize more resources that the school offers, such as the math learning center and resources in the library, to help me improve in my classes. My main focus for the second half of this semester is to fine-tune everything so when next semester starts; there will be no surprises or anything new that I need to become accustomed to. There are also areas outside of class and school that I have progressed in too. I have found a group of friends I hang out with who share similar interests. We also created a broomball team which has been some of the most fun I have had. Overall, I have progressed positively since mid-terms ended and even a little before that.

Focusing on this course, I was constantly feeling comfortable in this class and felt I had flexibility with my writing in my journals and blogs. In other classes, you have to follow a specific format or idea, but with the class, you can write about what you truly want, which made it easier for me to progress. This class has been one of the best classes to work in, with a very welcoming environment. I can definitely tell that with this class, I have been learning how to become a better writer and more understanding of PTSD. The primary reading for me that I was able to connect with was American Tet. I thought that the main point of the play was showing the different sides and views of war. Not everyone realizes that more than just the military member may be dealing with PTSD. At first, before reading this play, I knew military members and families fought with PTSD. Still, I never knew that the family could also undergo the same extent or even more significantly. I believe that Nhu is an excellent example of a person who has PTSD that most people would never even consider thinking about. Our country tends only to acknowledge our side of the war and never the enemy’s side. The idea is that people from that country could suffer tremendously more than we think during war.

With the end of the semester coming to an end, I am unsure what that time of year will look like for me. Typically throughout high school, I’ve learned that finals have always meant two things, stress and studying. However, if there is one thing I have learned so far this year, it is that college and high school are not nearly the same in any way. The biggest difference for me is that my professors are making finals more of a project and something fun and interactive rather than just an extended test of what we learned in class. This is something that I found super interesting because, for me, projects and assignments like that have more of an influence on me rather than a big test. My main hope for the end of the semester is to do well in school. This is most important to me because I know that these grades are what is setting me up for a successful future. So for school, I would like to maintain and achieve high grades for the semester and all of my finals. I would also like to feel 100% comfortable and confident coming back for the second semester. One main problem with the first semester was that I stressed too much about the small things when they ended up working themselves out. I want to come back and have a fun and stress-free experience.

Following my midterms, I thought courses would slow down, but the exact opposite was in store. In a blink of an eye, school work has piled up, and free time has diminished. Once we reached this landmark in the first semester, each course upgraded its homework load and level of difficulty. Post-midterm, I had a bit of a laid-back approach, but continuing to think that some of my classes were a breeze was a big mistake. I ended up performing poorly on multiple assignments, and with this switch, an immediate change had to be made. I had to set my priorities straight again, putting school before social life. One thing I would recommend throughout your school year is never to stop giving the maximum effort in each class. By doing so, you will stay on top of your work and become a better student and person. Sticking with a daily routine helps with the organizational factors of everything school related. Being absent for a couple of classes due to illness allowed me to fall behind in the first couple of weeks after midterms, but since then, I’ve been back on track with the workload. I have enjoyed the readings and lessons we can pull out of them.

In my INTD class, one connection that I made to reading American Tet was when Danny and Angela were talking about Angela’s options with surgery after she returned from the military. In this scene, Angela asks Danny for a loaded gun, implying that Angela wants to commit suicide. Later in the act, Angela shoots herself, allowing Danny to freeze and panic about the problem. Even though I wasn’t put in this situation, I’ve helped by talking with one of my friends from home about the topic. Suicide is too common and tends to be used as an easy way out. When people with addictive personalities receive that thought, they must express their feelings. When I was a junior in high school, one of my close friends was having thoughts about suicide due to their at-home life and relationships. It was a lot thrown on the person at once, but luckily the person was smart enough to ask for help. Experiences like those don’t fade away and pay a mental toll on people because the thought of loss digs deep into the heart.

What do you hope for by the end of the semester, including finals? Almost everyone might answer this question by saying, “good grades,” but I hope to retain and thoroughly understand the information being taught. After the semester, a letter or number on your paper won’t determine your future. Grades are crucial for your future, but leaving the class with knowledge comes first. For my finals, I plan on studying the information on the exam and how I can use this information outside of the classroom. I’m aiming for my grades to be above eighty percent, so I have a “B-” or above. Right now, I’m doing well in most of my courses, but I have to push myself harder to receive better grades. Outside of class, one hope that I wish to achieve is figuring out the perfect schedule to incorporate school and working out. The balance has been challenging with the amount of homework I’ve received, but I hope to find a mix between both. At the end of the day, I realized that if I continue to work hard, good things will come as a result.

This semester was full of highs and lows. I have come so far. I started immediately overwhelmed with how much work I was going to do in all my classes. Most of my classes this year have been very enjoyable and beneficial. I have undergone many changes and have stayed the same this semester.

My Math 141 class this year is just one of the unique classes I have never dealt with before. Initially, I had to adapt to a new way of learning. Not only did I have to learn the material, but also, I had to learn to use that knowledge and think of ways to instruct children. My INTD 105 course was filled with the most changes. From the start, adapting to the unique style of reading and writing we learned in a journal was hard. However, I made a significant change in focusing on organization and instantly became more efficient in writing my journals. Aside from the changes I made during class, I also greatly improved my well-being. When school started, I was super happy and incredibly happy with life. A couple more months in, I became much more frustrated with the work I had to do. This affected my mood. Eventually, I got out of the lousy rut by getting more sleep. While some things changed throughout the semester, some also stayed the same.

There are three major things I kept the same this semester. The first of the 3 (and the most important) is to try and do my homework on time. This is crucial because many professors grade very harshly if you do not turn assignments in on time. The second thing I kept the same was to bring a positive mood to class. Sometimes I would be in a bad mood outside of class, but when the class time arrived, I ensured I was in my best mood so my learning experience could be at its best. Lastly, I made sure I was always on time for classes. Being late can turn into a bad habit and does not look good. I try to ensure I am on time because it shows bad character and insults the teacher.

Changes are a part of life and frequent in a student’s life. The changes I made this semester were positive overall, and I made huge strides in my education. The things I did not change more closely go hand in hand with my character. I try to be the best person I can be. There were highs and lows from this semester; however, the constant changes and the things I have learned keep me anxious for the next chapter.

As a kid, I was absolutely obsessed with Dr. Suess and his books. I found the colorful, vibrant pages with whimsical creatures and fluorescent lands to be a comfortable place to look upon under any occasion; They sparked my imagination. But that’s it—I would only ever look at the pictures. I never found reading the lines exciting, so I would skim through and look at the soft truffula trees and cringe at the green eggs and ham. As a freshman in college, I find that Suess’s words have a deeper connection with me. This quote, in particular, resonates with me. Oh, and disclaimer, I grew up thinking it is his quote, but it has never been proven, although, to me, it is his:

“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance. Take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it’d be easy. They just promised it would be worth it.” Unknown

I have read that quote quite a lot in the past few months here at Geneseo.

I have noticed that Greek life and partying are the two major activities you can do here as a student, and when you are into neither, it can get lonely. In general, everyone seemed to have found their group of friends to hang out with and go out with on move-in day. Almost everyone was open and welcoming; after about three weeks, that all went away. There is a Main Street as well, but being a college student, a low income makes shopping very different. Being able to balance life at home while living a new life here can sometimes be unbearable. I am lucky (I must say) to have been able to go home quite a few times while here. I have become quite accustomed to the train station in Rochester. Some of my other friends aren’t as fortunate; they wait until the holiday breaks. In truth, I envy them. I envy every person I have spoken to on campus who tells me they live eight hours away and can’t go home until Christmas. I envy the fact that they can stay emotionally stable for weeks. No familiar hugs from a loved one or looking out a car window to see the little village they passed by every day as a kid. I always make myself up to be a person who keeps her calm. I can put a smile on my face just as others can. 

The past few months here have been nothing short of different—different stores, buildings, views, and faces. However, in terms of classes thus far, I have enjoyed them. Recently, I have taken two exams in my geography class. Sitting down for the first time in four years to take a test on paper felt weird. The minute you feel you have gotten everything back to normal after COVID, something makes you remember how it all was before. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss high school—I dreadfully miss the six o’clock wake-ups, the cold walks to the bus, the eleven classes back to back, and the relieving walk out the doors to the same bus once again. In high school, I dreaded every second I had to sit in those metal chairs and hear the constant chime from the bells in the hall. I regret not pausing for a moment to take it all in before it was gone. I had some unbelievably amazing friendships in senior high, and now I have parted with just about every single one. But that’s growing up.

Within the last few weeks, I have been introduced to many different views on writing and literature. Just recently, in my INTD 105 class, I was introduced to the book Acts of War. As soon as I opened the first reading, I noticed it was all written in play script format. I had to do a double take on the pages—I leaned over to my friend and asked her if she had read something like this before, but she shook her head no. Little did I know in the next few weeks, reading that script as a class would be the most fantastic form of reading I had ever done. Opening up to a way different way of reading wasn’t something I thought was possible. I say that because I had expressed in class that I had never read anything besides the usual chapter-by-chapter books from grades K-Twelve. Being able to read out loud with others around me in the class has made me more connected to the class. This class has been nothing less than genuinely eye-opening. I am absolutely impressed with the setup of the criteria. I have even gotten my roommate to take a class with this fantastic professor in the Spring!

By the end of the semester, all I can hope for is good standing in all parts of my life here at Geneseo. Those parts include but are not limited to my friendships, grades, home life, personal well-being, etc. I have faced moments this semester that have made me need to take a step back to re-evaluate my choices and thoughts, and that’s okay. I can’t say my grades will be perfect in the end, but I am putting forth my best effort, which is what life is all about—putting forth your best. Not the best that others want, the best that you want. I have created amazing friendships and discovered what it is like being a Knight here on campus.

To reiterate part of what Suess said, “If it changes your life, let it.” Being here on campus has changed my life. Taking these classes and seeing different viewpoints has changed my life as well. College life is changing itself. At the same time, society deems college to be all shiny, pristine, amazing, and guess what? It’s not always that way. There is also an emotional aspect to it that many pushes under the rug. Let me say this—you are not alone. Some students out there share their thoughts and feelings about being first-year college students. I believe that the world has come to say that the only reasonable option in your life is to be perfect and follow the stereotypes engraved into society. Nobody is perfect. As long as you try and do what you love, that will carve you to be the best version of yourself.

It’s crazy to say I’m halfway through my first semester of college. It feels as if I was unpacking my bags just yesterday to set up my dorm. I can finally say I’ve become in tune with college life. It no longer feels weird to wake up in a dorm or walk 3 miles to get my mail. If anything, I’ve learned to enjoy it. I have met new people and feel as though I have made a good group of friends. Having everyone so close takes me back to being a kid and waking up to play with the neighborhood kids. When I first arrived at Geneseo, it felt so liberating to be alone. Although I still love my life here, I have become more homesick as time goes on. Beyond everything, Geneseo has become a home to me.

Classes themselves aren’t terribly different from high school. However, the coursework is different. On top of the work being more complex and a more significant workload, classes have a more efficient feel. By that, I mean having “lectures like classes” is a much easier way for me to learn. In my mind taking notes on information and absorbing it in my own way helps me tremendously. I did poorly in high school in math, not because I wasn’t good at it but because I wouldn’t follow the same formula as the teacher. Now in college, I feel like professors can appreciate and encourage abstract thinking. That being said, classes such as this one make me learn differently. Doing things like group discussions actively puts me into the topic where I have to think outside the box. I can also communicate with my peers and change to refine my ideas. 

This class has been heavy for me. Even though the work isn’t extensive, it still feels like a lot. Per usual, writing and literature not being my strong suit, I tend to take much longer to complete the work. Although it is difficult, I still feel I am doing well in the class. Throughout the books we have read in class, I have made a connection with the Theater of War. The book tells stories of Greek soldiers and their traumatic events. These stories affected our modern day, such as how the story of Heracles has changed how some doctors manage end-of-life care. This book, as a whole, helps not just soldiers with PTSD but also their loved ones better understand their trauma. When I read this, it reminded me of being a kid. Even though it’s nothing like going to war, growing up is difficult. Being in a new generation, I feel every kid thinks their parents don’t understand their feelings, making communication difficult. Going back, these soldiers feel the same way; they are struggling with something in their minds that their loved ones can’t fully grasp. As someone who doesn’t deal with PTSD, I feel reading these stories allowed me to take a few steps in their shoes.

By the end of this year, I hope to be in a place where I have a life plan. Now I’m not saying I have my life and job picked out. I want to learn what areas of study I enjoy and prosper in so I can start to build a path for myself. I also hope to be more open to new things by the end of the semester. In my little time at college, I already feel more open and confident, and I hope to grow from that even more.

I’ve learned a lot about myself through writing these blog entries. One of the most important things I have learned since coming to Geneseo is that we’re all adults now and must start acting like it. However, I’ve learned that being an adult doesn’t always mean being more mature or working on self-improvement. All these years before college, we’re told what is moral and what is not, or right and wrong. However, I’ve learned that Geneseo and college generally aren’t just black and white. The idea of morals and fallible information seems to be more subjective rather than objective. Regarding the school, I’ve seen numerous perspectives on various topics. Unfortunately, I’ve learned that college is very biased in which perspective should be respected and which is looked down upon. Holding viewpoints opposed to Geneseo’s social standards is looked down upon. This causes the ability to connect with people much harder.  

All of my classes, for the most part, are going well. I still don’t enjoy learning at Geneseo much, but my courses are generally acceptable. Geneseo has some rigorous courses; however, since I’m on the premed track, it is only to be expected. On the bright side, at least STEM majors weed out people who don’t actually care about their major or education. Ironically, my classes are the only thing I actually enjoy going to, including this class. Getting out of my dorm and interacting with people is refreshing. Unfortunately, most of my interactions are only academic-related, but interaction is interaction and must be appreciated. My interests align with my courses, and this is the only thing that motivates me at Geneseo. This course has been getting more enjoyable as time goes on. I used to do drama, and I was in a choir for years before coming to Geneseo; I am currently, however, just in the wind ensemble and jazz band.

Although we are not acting out the characters in The Theatre of War– 9 Circles, hearing other people read reminds me of my high school English classes. This is one of the only courses that reminds me of high school, and the fact that we’re learning about a topic not taught there makes it feel fresh. I’ve been able to make a bit of a  connection between 9 Circles, to other readings. Once again, by reading this book, I’ve connected it to Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl (a book that should be read in high school, in my opinion). In connection to PTSD in general, since it’s a big topic in this class, I find it interesting how different people can cope with it. More recently, within the book, we’ve seen how the character Reeves deals with it; Reeves is a very unhealthy example of coping. 9 Circles is very explicit, but that’s what is needed to express true PTSD. Although Reeves is a bit of a complicated character, we can learn that PTSD can be coped with in either a peaceful manner or a very violent and revolting way.

Although this unfortunate semester in my life has been anything but optimal, I am hoping to settle into Geneseo. I’m hoping I can settle into my dorm as well. I’m not too hopeful about this because finals are coming up, and classes finish soon. There isn’t much time to settle in; in fact, it’d be more worth studying for exams rather than settling in right now. In terms of my classes, I hope that I will be able to keep passing all of them. I want to be able to pass all of my finals. I really want to score extremely high on my finals, but the motivation to study after only studying since being here is waning. Ultimately, I’ve realized that my grades are linked to my thoughts on Geneseo. It’s easier to study when you enjoy being somewhere. In this case, I’ll have to study for my own sake, it won’t be amusing, but as a college student, I’m just like everybody else and must do it to prosper.