Category: Fall 2023

Bloodchild Essay Final Draft

Octavia Butler’s short story “Bloodchild”explores and illuminates the risks and rewards of coming of age. Main character Gan and his family are Terrans who have settled on an alien-like planet and live alongside the Tlic, alien-like creatures. In the text it describes T’Gatoi the Tlic that lives with Gans family with “bones-ribs, a long spine, a skull and four sets of limb bones per segment” (pg 9). Despite their differences the relationship has been around for generations, helping one another ensure their survival. The Tlic protect and offer the Terrans a place to live in exchange for a place to implant their eggs. Undergoing the implantation of a Tlic egg is seen as a gruesome process, in order for this a Terran must be cut open in the abdomen. Gan shares a negative experience of this when he has to witness and help another Terran, he explains it as “I felt as though I were helping her torture him, helping her consume him, I knew I would vomit soon…”(pg15). Gan was chosen and prepared since birth to undergo this experience but after what he sees he is unsure. He is forced to make the tough decision of sacrificing himself or his sister. His story brings us through this fast process of growing up and how he navigates through this important phase with confidence and resilience. Gan’s responses and actions to the challenging decision help T’Gatoi better understand and connect with him. This new level of connection could benefit the future Tlic and Terrans relationships that will eventually go through the same experiences. Similar to “Bloodchild” there is no escaping growing up in the world we live in today, it is a part of life and a change that everyone experiences. Talking more openly about growing up and the challenges it entails, we can create a supportive environment that helps young people navigate through this important phase of life with confidence and resilience.

Upon arriving at Geneseo, I came to the realization that the night before my arrival could have been seen as my final night of childhood. Attending college is a significant milestone or turning point in most lives. In some cases it’s an expectation, in others it’s a choice. For me college has been a targeted goal throughout my life. I wanted to explore a different environment other than my small hometown, to get out there, meet new people and experience new things was a big goal of mine and I knew college would do just that. Almost everything I have done, clubs, sports, volunteer work, etc has been in preparation for college. My parents had high standards and pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. In my eyes going to college marks the transition from adolescence to adulthood. It’s typically the first time many individuals live away from their parents or guardians. This new level of independence includes making decisions about academics, personal life, finances and relationships. I am responsible for managing my own schedule, attending classes, completing assignments and handling various aspects of daily life without the influence of my parents. As I try to create here what Butler terms as “a livable space” in “a world that isn’t your own” I will come across many risks and rewards. Having the freedom to make these decisions could come with risks, making the wrong choices could put you or others in danger. Although there are risks, the coming of age experience also offers numerous rewards and opportunities. Self development is one such benefit, allowing individuals to discover their authentic selves through the formation of relationships that contribute to the cultivation of inner strength and independence.

Gan and I have similar coming of age stories because they both mark significant transitions to adulthood. His transition involves accepting his responsibilities in the Tlic society. From a young age he was expected to host the eggs of T’Gatoi. In the text it states “I’m told I was first caged within T’Gatoi’s many limbs only three minutes after my birth” (pg.8). Gans expectations in life were set as early as his birth when he was chosen for this role by his mother. Gan faces risks and rewards in his role. He gets benefits like his family living in the preserve and receiving eggs for longer life, but risks his health during the egg implantation. The way Gan handles this responsibility from his family is similar to the way I handled the expectation of attending college from mine. I have been raised my whole life, from as early as kindergarten to my final years of high school in preparation to attend college. My family had all attended college and it was an expectation that I did too. Like Gan I made tough decisions in order to pursue this goal and expectation. I remember trying out for teams where I knew not a single person, I would commit a lot of my time and miss out on a lot of things. It was a tough decision but I chose to sacrifice that to get better in order to reach my goal of playing collegiate lacrosse. This experience guided me for this transition, I came into college with the knowledge that it’s okay to be uncomfortable or overwhelmed and that with time things get better. I have also had a job since my first year of highschool. Working four times a week, some even school nights helped me learn time management. I would attend school, go to the gym, attend work and still find time for homework and studying. This skill is very beneficial for college and my future overall giving me confidence and resilience in managing my time beneficially. With that being said my reward would be getting to be here furthering my education and self growth. Being on my own and having the freedom to control my own responsibilities will help me mature and find myself at the next level which in my eyes is seen as a passage into adulthood. My risk of this expectation could be putting my body in danger. Without the guidance or control of my parents in this new place, I could make poor decisions, not getting enough sleep, consuming something I should not have or even an injury I don’t take care of could all result in putting my body in danger.

Another example of how Gans coming of age story is similar to mine is we both have built relationships. In the text it states “and to keep you for myself, I said, it was so, I didn’t understand it but it was so” (pg 28). Gans relationship with T’Gatoi is central to this story. They share a bond that is both intimate and fraught with tension. On the one hand, there is a reward for the trust and affection between them, as T’Gatoi genuinely cares for Gan’s well-being and vice versa, like in the quote Gan comes to the realization that he would take on T’Gatoi’s eggs not someone else because he wanted her for himself. On the other hand, there is a risk for the power dynamics in their relationship, stemming from the biological control the Tlic have over humans, creating a sense of unease and dependence. The Tlic seem to have more control, they have made rules such as guns being illegal because of an incident in the past where a Terran used one on an Tlic. The way Gan built a relationship is closely related to the way I have developed mine. Coming into college, I knew I would have to say goodbye to my friends and family, not forever but I knew it would not be the same when I got back. A risk of this could be homesickness, maybe even anxiety and depression, if this becomes serious it could also affect one’s health. Leaving behind people who make you who you are and who are a part of your everyday life can be a very difficult transition. College can also create many new relationships. Building relationships with peers, professors, and mentors could open up connections which will shape your future. Reaching out or becoming close to a professor can help them see and understand what you are as a person and what you are feeling. This could be seen as a reward for getting out in the world, learning about different cultures and diversities, getting used to being outside your comfort zone which allows you to grow as an individual.

“Bloodchild” serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the journey from adolescence to adulthood, mirroring the challenges and rewards faced by both the characters in the story and students like myself entering college. Just as Gan navigates a complex relationship with the Tlic, we too will embark on a new chapter filled with risks and rewards. The transition to college symbolizes the end of our childhood, with newfound independence and responsibilities. This freedom carries risks, as the choices we make can impact our well-being and future. Yet, it also brings opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth, allowing us to shape our identities and build relationships that contribute to our inner strength. Growing up is a fundamental part of human life, there is no avoiding it. By talking more openly about growing up and the challenges it entails, we can create a supportive environment that helps young people navigate through this important phase of life with confidence and resilience. It also allows adults to better understand and connect with the younger generation. Like T’Gatoi and Gan, the mutual understanding between generations promotes respect, cooperation and shared wisdom, benefiting everyone involved.

When you hear the phrase “coming of age” I imagine that most people think about the transition from childhood to adulthood. There are all kinds of stories on different streaming platforms and in books that have a coming of age plot to them and for the most part, they are all pretty wholesome. There have been some stories involving symbols of coming of age, whether it be from religion with bat or bar mitzvahs, or cultural events including quinceañeras, sweet sixteens, etc. Those specific moments are more perceptible to the audience but coming of age stories aren’t just limited to them. There’s also more hidden symbols of coming of age including a character having to overcome a big moment or challenge in their life. Sometimes it can be about love and relationships or it could be about their peers and friendships. A lot of the time there’s also subplots within the main story which could be about a sport or academic struggle. There’s so many things you can do with a coming of age story and as we read the book, Bloodchild and Other Stories by Octavia Butler, we get to see how Butler puts her twist on it.

The story is about the relationship between two distinct species: the Tlic, Space aliens that resemble something similar to a centipede, and the Terrans, humans inhabiting the alien planet. We are introduced to the main character Gan while he is eating eggs which possess the ability to prolong life. We explore the contrasting lifestyles between the Terrans and the Tlic through Gan’s point of view. This moment, in the beginning of the story is significant because he refers to it as his last night of childhood. We find out the reason why later on in the story. Shortly after, the story introduces T’gatoi, who is described as having some political power within the Tlic world. T’gatoi’s relationship with Gan is interesting. They appear to be very close and find comfort in each other. In a world that wasn’t created for the Terrans, T’gatoi, in a couple ways, serves as a support to Gan’s life. T’gatoi keeps Gan’s family safe and provides them a sense of security and reassurance due to the power she has.

We later learn about the breeding process for the Tlics and it’s not the prettiest thing. The price of the Terrans being allowed to live symbiotically with the Tlics is the body of one of their children. The process appears to be very similar to a symbiotic relationship like a parasite, similar to lice. Lice lives in areas on human bodies that have hair. They feed on blood and lay their eggs underneath the skin surface. It’s very gross and not very fun to think about. Though, the Tlic do a similar thing by laying their eggs inside the human body. T’gatoi cut open a character named Lomas and took out a bunch of grubs from his body. Similar to the reproduction process with sea horses using males to carry the children, the Tlics use biological male human beings to hold onto their offspring but then perform a sort of cesarean section to birth their young.

Some people could probably argue that rather than them having a parasitic symbiotic relationship, they actually have a mutualistic relationship. Meaning that they both benefit from each other when they work together. They aren’t just taking risks and rent paying, they’re also gaining a reward. In the breeding process itself, it definitely seems purely parasitic but when you look at the big picture, it’s only a price they pay in order to come to an agreement with the Tlic. The Terrans have to surrender their lives/bodies and their freedoms, including: weapons like guns and freedom of mobility to explore the Tlic planet. In return, they are fed eggs that are capable of extending life along with providing them with youth. They also get the feeling of comfort and security by being a part of the family. T’gatoi being in the position of having political power also gives Gan’s family political protection. To take away from this, their relationship could be considered mutualistic because the Tlic get to reproduce and the Terrans are provided with a sense of safety.

There will always be risks and rewards when going to a new place. Some of the risks involving going into the unknown are feeling unprepared and being scared of adjustment. The summer before 7th grade, I moved to Syracuse, New York and throughout the years I’ve made very close friends. Moving to SUNY Geneseo reminds me of how I felt at the time, all over again and one of the things that I have to adjust to is making new friends again. Having a supportive friend group is something that I value and need to help me feel like what I’m doing is worth doing. When bad things happen, it really helps lighten things up knowing that I have a group of people supporting me, wanting me to succeed. Moving to a new place again and losing the support of my friends and family is one of the things that I’m giving up in order to be here.

Besides just friends and family, there are some more tangible things that have been given up in return for these new experiences. Although not everyone will undergo the same exact situations, there are some that other people can probably relate to. Moving to college could possibly lead to losing a room in your home. I’ve heard about parents turning the old room into something new, usually an office, sometimes a gym, anything you could think of. With that, most people don’t want to bring every single thing they own into their college dorm, so there’s a lot of stuff that gets thrown out or donated which can make it feel like you’re leaving your childhood behind. Even though there are probably an endless amount of things that could be thought of that students give up when they move to college or any new place in general, in the end there’s always going to be a benefit or reward when you come out of it.

Coming to Geneseo is definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone. I’d argue that being forced to live outside of my comfort zone is my reward because it allows me to experience new things, meet new people, and get me started on my future. In “Bloodchild”, the Terrans are in a new world and everything is unknown. Putting yourself into new situations like that helps a person gain new perspectives on the world and become a more sympathetic person. It’s ironic because in the story, the Terrans gain a place of security and comfort but here at SUNY Geneseo, I feel like I’ve lost it. Something I’ve been thinking about every single day since I’ve been here is I can’t wait to create a space where I feel comfortable and able to be myself. I’ve never really had one consistent place I can call my home and I believe the reward of going through college will be finding myself a secure job and a place to have a home with the people I’ve met along the way.

In Octavia Butler’s “Bloodchild” ideas of coming to the harsh reality of growing up are heavily expressed. As Gan is faced with what he will face in his future he begins to question whether he is willing to take the larva after watching what happens to those who take them. Gan and his family are humans inhabiting a planet that is not Earth and was owned first by the Tlic. The Tlic are aliens in human eyes, they are tall, have lots of arms, legs, and claws. They are intelligent beings and restrict humans as a way to keep them in check. In return the humans get a place to live and don’t have to do much work the tlic provides for them. Gan is second guessing on what he truly wants in his future. He knows if he doesn’t know if he wants to accept T’Gatoi’s eggs but if he doesn’t his sister will have to. As Gan explains his tenseness of the situation when he questions “Would it be easier to know that red worms were growing in her flesh instead of mine?,” on page 26. Gan sees what really happens and knows it’s what he’s going to go through. He now understands what he will have to endure in his future; he begins to question after experiencing the trauma of the larva as he watches after watching “His body convulsed.” This is much like a college student preparing for college, a college student at seventeen or eighteen is often not sure if they are prepared for college. While graduating as a junior and heading to college young I have become comfortable with the fact that much of what I have decided to do has come with a certain degree of uncertainty and uneasiness. As I have begun my freshman year of college I have learned that there is an amount of nervousness and a lot of adjusting. I have also learned it is also very easy to find comfort in new friends. With Gan not being able to speak to anyone who has gone through or is going through it, it makes Gan’s situation much more challenging. His situation is also more severe than any college students in that he is trying to survive compared to can still be a tall order of a freshman in college to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

Gan struggling to decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life he is able to make a sensible decision by weighing out what may come with each option. He knows he doesn’t want to force his sister to take the larva but also knows how much pain he will have to endure and will also be sacrificing his life. Gan, while helping T’Gatoi extract larva, says that he feels as if he is “torturing a man” and feels sick to his stomach doing so. When Gan says this he is expressing his furthering feelings of nervousness towards the task he must complete. While no college students are being tortured, they hear from older college students how hard a certain course is or something negative about a professor they have and can add pressure towards starting college or a new semester. Gan later speaks to T’Gatoi and expresses his feelings on his situation. He tells T’Gatoi “I don’t want to be a host animal” on page 24. Gan is talking over his feelings about the situation with someone he feels comfortable with to ease his nerves about what he is going to go through. He has felt a new sense of relief after speaking with her. College students have many opportunities to speak with people when they do not know what they are doing, the university provides many useful resources that we can easily access for help in our path through college. As I have been here I have been able to meet with my advisor, and a few professors in order to get the extra help that I need. There are also clubs that students can attend and they will aid you on your path throughout college in whatever you may need help with, even if it is just a group of friends. I have joined the dental club and they have informed me on what I should be doing to prepare for future exams and schooling and it has been a great resource for me and has made the whole process much less stressful. Gan isn’t as blessed as us; the only person he really has to talk about with is trying to convince him to take larva for their sake. Students first jumping into college give up much less than those in “Bloodchild”. First year students mainly give up comfortability and they pay their tuition, which can be challenging for 18 year olds. On the other hand it is not nearly as difficult as giving up a family member as they do in the short story. Gan is stuck with the decision on whether he wants to live and have his sister take the larva or he takes the larva so his sister can live. College students’ main choices are things such as what they want to study, or who they want to room with. What I have experienced in my first semester so far is nothing compared to the pain Gan will go through in his near future. The same as I will go through, I will not have to sacrifice much other than time and money which will give me a positive outcome. Gan is sacrificing his life and he will lose his life in order to keep his family safe and out of love for T’Gatoi.

As a freshman in college I have had to do lots of adjusting to college life. I have gained new friends, a better education, and will be more prepared for life in exchange for paying tuition and leaving home. While it is a nerve wracking experience starting your first year of college there are many positives that come out of attending college. Not only do I have many positives with attending college, I have lots of help in navigating through college. With Geneseo offering many resources and opportunities I am able to find my path through college quite easily with the hardest thing being the work I get in classes.The new environment I have begun to grow as a person more than I would have staying in highschool. Gan is faced with much more difficult challenges, in circumstances that would be illegal such as when he killed the achti with a gun that they are not supposed to own, or whether to save himself or his sister. While Gan isn’t given much of a choice in what in his life regardless of taking the larva. He is not able to go and study what he wants or meet new people. He is on a preserve and still has the responsibility to take the larva and protect his family and make T’Gatoi happy. With going into a new situation you will never be completely comfortable in situations that will benefit you. As I have started my freshman year I have understood that it is very important to continue my education because in the end it will benefit me.

Imagine a world in which aliens are coexisting with humans on the same planet. Each species has their own unique lifestyle that they are working to align with the other. This is the premise of Octavia Butler’s short story, “Bloodchild”, in the novel Bloodchild & Other Stories. “Bloodchild” describes the story of Terrans, which are humans and Tlics, an un-humanlike creature, from the perspective of Gan, the Terran narrator. Since the invasion of the Terrans, the Tlics have been inserting their eggs into the bodies of Terrans in order to boost their declining reproduction rates. In the case of Gan’s family, T’Gatoi, a grub-eating Tlic, has been observing his family to choose who she would insert her eggs into. T’Gatoi “liked the idea of choosing an infant and watching and taking part in all the phases of development” (Butler 8) and it becomes time for her and Gan’s family to make the decision. What begins as a mysterious, sometimes disturbing (from the description of egg insertion surgeries), science fiction story, ends with a romantic finale when Gan agrees to take T’Gatoi’s eggs in order to save his sister from the burden and to show his love for T’Gatoi. Butler’s “Bloodchild” illuminates the tensions, risks and rewards that I am experiencing here at Geneseo trying to create “a livable space” in a world that isn’t my “own” by illustrating examples of feeling like an outsider.

In “Bloodchild”, we can see the feeling of being an outsider through the Terran characters, which relates to the aspect of entering a world that isn’t my “own”. At first in the short story, it is unclear who the outsiders are, but we know someone does not belong. It may be common for the reader to assume in the beginning that the Tlic, including T’Gatoi, are the aliens, since she is described as a creature unlike a human. In Butler’s words, T’Gatoi has “bones–ribs, a long spine, a skull, four sets of limb bones per segment” (Butler 9). Since the Terrans and Tlics have such different lifestyles, Butler makes it clear that their ideals are foreign to the other and that this foreignness brings feelings of intimidation. This creature sounds foreign to us readers, and we know that it is not the description of a human or any being on Earth. This may also be why Gan’s family appears to be scared of her. However, we discover later on that it is in fact the Terrans that are the aliens when T’Gatoi mentions Gan’s “‘ancestors, fleeing from their homeworld’” (Butler 25). The realization that the Terrans were the aliens helps to acknowledge that humans often feel like outsiders and may be out of place. Their Terran ancestors took a risk in leaving their homeworld to this new planet. Additionally, humans and Terrans alike, like Gan, commonly feel intimidated by things and people they are unfamiliar with.

Since it is established that the Terrans are the “aliens” in “Bloodchild”, we can further identify the feelings of the Terrans who may feel like outsiders. Since it has been established that Terrans are very similar to humans, we can infer Terrans have a similar value and tradition system to humans. Therefore, when T’Gatoi begins eating a grub found inside a Terran she had cut open, Gan finds this practice disturbing. Gan doesn’t understand why T’Gatoi is engaging in this procedure. Trying to process this, he asks himself “Did she like the taste?” (Butler 17). In addition, although Gan lives on a foreign planet, he is not adapted to the Tlic way of life. Gan specifically says that “The whole procedure was wrong, alien. I wouldn’t have thought anything about her could seem alien to me” (Butler 17). This makes him question how well he understands his relationship with T’Gatoi, whom he thought he knew well before this interaction since he has known her all of his life. Also, Gan’s realization that T’Gatoi’s lifestyle is very different from his makes him feel like an outsider. Gan may feel like he stands out in a negative way by not engaging in the same procedure as T’Gatoi. This demonstrates that Gan felt intimidated by something he was unfamiliar with, but he did not let these feelings get in the way of confessing his love to T’Gatoi, and the rewards of having a relationship with an unexpected being.

In regards to my own life, during my time here at Geneseo, I have felt like an outsider. My journey of beginning college can be compared to “Bloodchild” by looking at my college experience through a similar lens. For instance, I could refer to college upperclassmen and professors as the “Tlic”. While they are not actual grub-eating, egg implanting people like in the story, they are people who are already content with the way of life in this “new world”. In other words, college upperclassmen and professors have previous familiarity with college life and the town of Geneseo. This makes them more likely to feel like they belong, opposed to someone like me, who has never been exposed to Geneseo and college life culture. Additionally, since they are people who are comfortable with Geneseo culture, they may seem intimidating to those unfamiliar with the culture.

Similarly, although I have my own lifestyle ideals, in this comparison I would consider myself a “Terran”. I am new to this world at Geneseo, and college life is “alien”. This does not mean that there is anything wrong with this “new world”, but it is only because I have never been in college before or lived in Geneseo that I do not know what it feels like for this to be my normal life. There is an initial risk by entering a “new world”; I may not enjoy college life, I might push myself too far out of my comfort zone, or I could worry that I made the mistake of choosing the wrong college. However, as I am adapting to my new environment, it is slowly becoming less obvious that I was just an outsider. I am now experiencing the rewards of stepping out of my comfort zone by exploring Geneseo, trying new things unique to college, and inviting the opportunity to make new friends.

As a reader of this essay, one may wonder- why does any of this matter? It’s beneficial for readers of fiction to make connections to their own lives in order to make their reading more meaningful. If a person can connect texts to themselves, they can better understand who they are as a person and they will likely enjoy their reading experience more fully. For example, if a person can find something to relate to in a text they read, like reading about building friendships while they themselves are trying to make friends, they may better appreciate what it is that they are reading since it helps them better understand their own lives. Through reading my connections between “Bloodchild”and my personal experiences at Geneseo, the reader of this essay will learn more about both this short story and about my college life. While this may not excite everyone, for some, it may be interesting to view a different person’s perspective on becoming comfortable in a world that isn’t your “own”, especially if the reader is going through a similar situation (as mentioned above). Everything considered, Butler’s “Bloodchild” is a strong representation of the tensions, risks, and rewards I have experienced at Geneseo while trying to create a “livable space” in a world that isn’t my “own” through the theme of feeling like an outsider.

Octavia Butler’s Bloodchild crafts a terrifying world for the main character Gan and his family. On their planet, humans (or Terrans as they’re known here) are forced to mingle with the alien Tlic who operate on dozens of limbs and implant the Terrans with their small grub-like young. Gan’s family is lucky enough to have been placed in the Preserve, a place of safety away from the lands outside where Terrans are “courted, paid, drafted, in some way made available” (Butler 5) to the impatient Tlic that await there. Gan and his family are “protected” by an old family friend, a Tlic named T’Gatoi who has chosen Gan to bear her young whenever he is old enough. Gan and his siblings are shown plenty of “diagrams and drawings” (Butler 13) to ensure them that the process is safe. Yet despite this constant reassurance and the perceived safety of the Preserve, it is Gan’s brother Qui who comes to see the Preserve as a cage, as one big trap. While walking home one night as a kid, Qui witnessed a Terran killed by a Tlic, his throat being sliced open with “one swipe of one claw” (Butler 20) while the grubs burrowed their way through his dead corpse to be born. From that day forth, Qui could no longer veil the Preserve in a false sense of security. He wanted away from this hostile place that had taken lives, maybe even his brother’s or his own eventually. Though the story of Bloodchild comes to a happy ending (or at least as much of one that’s possible) for Gan, it’s important to realize that Qui never does get his ‘away.’ Part of being human sometimes is being stuck somewhere unbearably uncomfortable, maybe forever. While Gan’s ending is a satisfactory one, I think the point Butler makes with Qui is more interesting. His story is left unfinished. He is still searching for something he may never find: a way out. It’s an interesting parallel to a struggle that’s much too common. When faced with problems in life, a lot of humans’ natural reaction is to run instead of facing that problem. For Qui, Butler never makes the point that he’s wrong for feeling this way. He is simply left to his feelings, and I believe that to be the point. Sometimes life is scary. Even SUNY Geneseo with its pretty hills and valleys can be scary. The Preserve is to Qui what Geneseo was/is to me. A supposed safe space for him that only ever felt hostile, a place he wanted to be rid of.

My first impressions of SUNY Geneseo weren’t all negative. It is beautiful here after all and for my first couple weeks here I was excited to start college. It was only until I was hit with the slew of “‘adult things’” (Butler 25) as T’Gatoi says, that I started to feel alone in this place. Living on campus was the first time I’d ever lived alone away from home for an extended period. I started to realize how far away I was from my friends and the people that help me stay anchored in my everyday life. Just like Qui when he witnessed the unfortunate Terran death, I began to peel away the false sense of security that my “safe haven” provided. I did good in class and did my best to find a job but no matter where I went, I never really felt like I was getting anywhere. I was still alone and despite my best efforts, I was never able to find my people here. SUNY Geneseo introduced me to the idea of being completely alone, something I’d never been able to understand before. I wanted to run away wherever I could, but I quickly found out that I was “‘running in a cage,’” (Butler 20) like Qui.

For Qui, the Preserve is inescapable. There’s a moment in the story where Gan ponders over the family rifle and says “‘That’s Qui’s ‘away.’’” (Butler 29) The moment isn’t lingered on for too long but can’t be understated. Qui’s only “away”, if he really wants it, may be to escape from life itself. It’s extreme and hard to think about but for Qui it may be the only way out. For me, I can count my lucky stars that my “Preserve” has built-in breaks where I can find a sort of temporary “away.” Whether it be a few days here and there or months between semesters, I’ll always have some sort of escape from the “‘adult things’” (Butler 25) where I can feel a little less alone for a while. It’s in these breaks that I can leave behind the looming thoughts of college and spend time with the things and people that matter to me.

Sometimes it can be helpful to know that our stories aren’t over yet, mine or Qui’s. With Gan being chosen at the end of the story, Qui’s worries may be able to fade a little as he focuses on his brother and his family. He has time to grow out of his fear of the Preserve (and truly life in general) and find his “away” somewhere closer to home. Maybe he’ll find that he doesn’t even need it anymore. That’s what I’m hoping for myself. With two more years here at SUNY Geneseo, it’s helpful to know that I still have time to settle into this place, no matter how rocky of a start I had. I’ve already taken a few steps to try and feel more comfortable here. I’ve joined a sports team, made a few friends, and overall tried to get a better understanding of why I’m here. Right now, everything still feels hostile but there’s comfort in knowing that next year, maybe even next semester, I’ll feel a little less like running away.

While I sit and wait for that feeling though, it’s important to realize that it’s ok to feel how I do. When Butler introduces Qui and his motivations, she never really makes a comment on whether he’s right to want to run away from it all. When Tlic run the world though, what Terran wouldn’t want to run away? To me, Qui seems to be one of the sanest characters in the short story. When someone sees something as terrible as Qui has, it makes sense to want to make an escape from it all. Being thrown into adult life is impossibly scary. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself, you’ll never know what it’s really like until you’re there. For a lot of people, college is that first leap into a whole new world. And for people like me and Qui, that world is scary, lonely, and unfamiliar. Maybe sometimes it stays that way forever and maybe it doesn’t. Some people may even choose to fully run away from college and find another transition point into adulthood. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here. Making that move into adult life, whether that be college or not, is something that everybody has the choice to navigate on their own, especially today when college is becoming so much less necessary to secure a stable career. There are so many options out there which can be a scary thought on it’s own but a comforting one too when you realize that you can do whatever is right for you. From me and Qui, to anybody out there who’s scared: you’re not alone. Just keep running, wherever it is that you need to go. Keep going.