The first half of semester one has given me ambivalent feelings about Geneseo. I don’t detest Geneseo, but I also don’t admire it. I don’t hold resentment toward anyone who enjoys this college, but for me personally, I still haven’t settled in at all. I have joined two bands and committed to them in order to be active. I also run and or go to the gym every day. Compared to high school, I haven’t resonated with anyone here. Greek life is big here, but I don’t mean it’s as big as other schools such as Cortland. Greek life unfortunately is the only way of life if you wish to socialize here. I’ve come to realize we are in the middle of farmland, and there is only one street (main street) that has anything for us to do. Partying and drinking are part of the college experience, unfortunately since we are in the middle of nowhere, it’s the only thing to do. However, even if I do find people who don’t party and drink, there’s nothing we can really do here besides hang out in dorms or study rooms. But to reiterate, my experience is different from others, I don’t mind if people are enjoying themselves, in fact I would implore people to enjoy themselves; this culture is just not for me. Every college embraces it, only problem is at Geneseo it’s the only thing to do since there isn’t much to do here. Geneseo’s acceptance rate has also been skyrocketing, and I should’ve read reviews from students on Geneseo before committing.
My courses are going well for the most part. I have a lot of free time, although I’m not studying all the time. The abundance of time I have most would think I’d be able to study all the time, though since I’m not doing anything “fun,” my motivation to study is at a low. My courses are fine, and I am learning a lot. Nonetheless since all I’ve been doing at Geneseo is schoolwork, it’s become really stale. Learning isn’t as fun as it used to be. Since learning is the only thing I’m doing, it gets boring really fast. In high school, I enjoyed school a lot; ironically, I don’t enjoy college as much. I prefer having all my courses coming in quick succession, like high school, as well as waking up at 6 am every day. Adjusting to all my courses as a whole will still take time for me. In summary, I am learning and doing good, but I’m not enjoying any of it.
This class has been going well for me for the most part. I have been able to connect to the readings to a certain extent. Since I have no connection to the military or know anybody personally who is a veteran, I can’t say I am able to fully understand the situation that some veterans have to endure. Although I did connect with the idea of faith and free will. The idea that people have a predestined course in life based on their experiences seems infallible. I’ve been able to learn that our choices in life can be very different than others that endure hardships that are similar to us. For example, I was able to connect The Theater of War to another book called Man’s Search for Meaning. While some prisoners came out of Auschwitz hating the world, there were people who still had a moral compass. Both types of people endured the same amount of hardships while in the camps, even so it is up to us ultimately to decide our own fate.
In terms of this class, I expect to come out having more knowledge on P.T.S.D as well as veterans in general by the end of the semester. With life in general, I hope that I can find a group of people or at least one with that I can find a connection. Being in the middle of nowhere without anybody to communicate with has been devastating. The more time that passes, the more I lose motivation to do any homework that I have. I hope to find the motivation that I need to carry on before the end of the semester. Ironically I’m talking about my problems as if they have any significance compared to what we’re learning about in this class. Nonetheless, I hope I can at least settle in before the end of the semester, as well as be able to sleep.