Category: McCoy

Alex Hillyard, Abby Cornelius, Ireland Conrow, Angelina Roberts

From Here to Equality: Reparations for Black Americans in the Twenty-First Century by William A. Darity and A. Kirsten Mullen is a road map for explaining the issues of reparations for Black Americans by focusing on racial inequality and accountability, given the history of how Black people are treated like second class citizens. The actions that are represented in this book can also be demonstrated by Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. Guitar and Milkman talk about Guitar’s aspirations in joining the group Seven Days. Guitar expresses strong beliefs on how the group will affect change with racial inequality. Considering the way Black people are treated it is not surprising that this character saw a desperate need for change. Although he neglects to explain how a homicidal ‘tit for tat’ will help to repair the wounds of racism in American society, he truly believes what he is doing is helping indicate his feelings of hopelessness to effect change. When Guitar says “I told you. Numbers. Balance. Ratio. And the earth, the land,” he is not only expressing that he believes this to be a universal problem but that the only possible solution is balancing the ratio of harm itself. Even though the character Guitar is a fictional representation of a generation’s struggles, the problems he faced were very real to an array of people. His life represents how a series of bad faith interactions can lead a person to such a considerable solution.

Guitar thought of the idea of “numbers, balance and ratio” after his father’s death. At the same time Guitar faced both the trauma of losing a parent at a young age and was made aware of how little the company responsible for his death did in the way of reparations. Although his mother tried to provide some kind of solace to her son and other children in good faith by “[buying] each of them a big peppermint stick on the very day of the funeral,” she only ended up making things worse. Guitar’s mother attempted to fix a situation that couldn’t be fixed. The injustice that Guitar’s family faced can never be repaired; however Guitar’s mother attempts to find balance by repairing it in her own way. Morrison also connects with the ideas of Darity and Mullen through giving specific examples of events such the death of Emmett Till. What made this specific case stand out was the actions of Till’s mother following her son’s death. She stood up and talked about the injustice done in a time when speaking out against the system could cost you your job, house, or your family. The economic terrorism that was ingrained into the minds of Black people was also built up by structural racism and systematic inequality, which was enforced by the lack of African Americans in politics or on police forces at the time. However, even after African Americans were given voices in these respective systems, they are still flawed systems. This built effective systematic discrimination that hindered people from standing up to fight injustice. In Song of Solomon, Guitar parallels the death of his father to the death of Emmett Till which though to them is a recent event, is not at all that surprising to anyone besides Milkman. As unpleasant as it is to say, the Till murder was not out of its place when looked at in comparison to other countless lynchings in the south during this era. Although Guitar is still young here, he is able to recognize this very public affair regarding his father’s death. He is able to recognize that Milkman allows himself to be ok with the system because his family is about as wealthy as a Black family at the time could be, and he doesn’t have to be as concerned about speaking out and losing his job in the way many people did.

Guitar sees the way that the Jewish people received retribution after World War Two as a goal for the Black peoples of America to receive post segregation; he’s focused on this big idea of trial-style justice. To find justice Guitar joins a secret society called The Seven Days, an organization consisting of seven Black men that are assigned a day of the week. The men kill white people in response to a Black person being murdered. They make each killing similar to the original violence against the Black victim. The killings are performed on the same day of the week as the original murders of the Black victims. Guitar believes that his actions help keep the ratio of Black people to white people balanced, ensuring that white people will not gain enough power to start a genocide. From Here to Equality mentions that both white and Black people considered the laws and institutions to be less of the problem and said they saw individual prejudices were to blame. Darity and Mullen also outwardly state that their goal is to convince the reader that Americans are looking at racism incorrectly. The civil rights movement did not result in economic freedom for African Americans. Americans have not moved past their long history of racism because of the election of a Black president. All of these efforts for justice and equality have not been sufficient. This eye for an eye style of thinking isn’t going to solve any of these structural problems. Guitar claims that his deeds are grounded, but is he murdering out of love for Black people or murdering out of hate for white people? Either way, seven Black people murdering white people can’t change the structural racism in this country. As From Here to Equality states, “No shift in the power relationship will be possible unless the society as a whole takes action to transform the structural conditions to make racial equality a real possibility”. This relates back to the idea of “numbers balance ratio” because to make a change you can’t just balance out the actions of the opposing group.

Although slavery to a certain extent has long since been eliminated, the lasting effects of racism have been rooted into the lives of African Americans today. SUNY Geneseo faculty member Joseph Cope, Associate Provost for Academic Success and Professor of History, is one member of the college faculty tasked with the job of handling student problems that stem from history within the college. It can be a difficult task, working with people who can be harmed by the very institution that they are a part of; however students in a college institution despite societal pressures and expectations are still actively choosing to be part of said institution. Between de facto segregation, increased voting laws in historically Black districts, the increased rates of serious health issues and many other well known facts it is still clear that Black Americans are still recovering from the pre-existing structures of this institution. Darity and Mullen acknowledge that those who oppose reparations and are quick to point out that money might not do much in the way of actually fixing these issues, but it isn’t really about fixing everything with one apology. According to From Here to Equality the objective of the reparation project is to redress the socioeconomic inequalities associated with race. All of the efforts for justice and equality have not been sufficient because there is no ‘replacing’ instead the conversation is about acknowledging the racial inequality in America.

In conclusion, although most of the processes of inequality have been done away with remnants of a broken system still remain across the U.S. In many ways, the lives of Black people are still affected by systematic efforts to decrease representation, education, and quality of life. When Guitar faces these issues throughout his life it harms him to the point that he is unable to see any solution that doesn’t involve violence to compensate for pain. We can see through the Song of Solomon character Guitar, that when you are so wronged and traumatized that the need to find justice for not only yourself but for your community can become impetuous, especially when the injustices that you and your community have faced are so horrendous and deep-rooted. This is addressed in From Here To Equality when the authors reference how reparations probably wouldn’t actually fix any of the problems they solved but would serve as an acknowledgement and a clear first step in the right direction.

In literature, the word “epigraph” takes a huge part in introducing and setting important themes that take part in a book or other manuscripts. Epigraphs are most commonly in the form of a short sentence or sentences that can also be seen or interpreted as a metaphor. Although it is technically a short sentence or set of sentences introduced towards the beginning of the book, they can also appear in any part of the book due to the fact that they also tend to have very carefully chosen words that summarizes the theme or set of themes that the reader will encounter as they read through the book which puts the reader to think about what that sentence may mean and how it will apply to what they are reading. An example of how we see this take place is in the novel “Song of Solomon” where the author, Toni Morrison makes her own epigraph to basically set what type of themes she is trying to set which can also be seen in many ways. Thus, enhancing the idea that epigraphs can be interpreted as more than one idea. The epigraph that is present in this novel is, “You can’t fly on off and leave a body”. Although the quote wasn’t really set in the beginning of the novel, it is definitely a perfect way of exemplifying and displaying the theme of “flight”. The term “flight” can be used to describe one of many things, examples include fleeing a situation where you or someone else can be in danger, or it can be just a way of executing an escape from something. Therefore, it is with the term “flight” that I want to focus on when I reflect on myself because even though at one point in my life, I happened to “escape” my dad due to unsafe circumstances and find refuge in a shelter, experiencing what it was like being in that shelter (and many others), I realized that even then I couldn’t run off from history because of all the people in the shelter who happened to have similar experiences like mine.

In regards to history, we can all agree that many people of color had the hardest times growing up as they experienced hatred, discrimination and violence at very young age. Things like this are what leads to very traumatizing things that, in a way, shape how the person grows up thinking. Unlike many fortunate people, I also didn’t really have “the perfect childhood”. My childhood consisted of many things that have scarred and traumatized me in ways that a kid shouldn’t have to experience during the “best times” of their lives. Regardless of these very dark times, I have learned and encountered many things that I probably would’ve learned in my teenage/adulting years. To elaborate a very long story short, there was one point in my childhood where my mom, my older brother and I had to escape my dad due to unsafe circumstances (meaning that my dad was a threat at the time) and we had to go through this whole process of getting into a shelter where we could feel more “safe” while we find another place to live. Even then as a kid (as young as 9-10) I couldn’t help but notice how many more people of color there were other than white people. Based on the quote “From Here to Equality”, on page 29, states “So while there were sharp differences in the black and white perceptions of the role of societal factors in perpetuating racial economic inequality, there was a sharp convergence on the role of alleged cultural-behavioral factors.” Being someone who has experienced what it’s like to live in 3 different shelters, this quote can basically summarize what it was like for me when I lived in these shelters. There were a lot of assumptions that went around people as to the reason why they were there in the first place without knowing what their story was. It was really hard to live in such an environment because I was really scared of who to trust and since I was a little girl at the time it just made it even worse.

Even as a kid I have grown up in a very “messy” household, accounting that my mom and dad both had completely different sets of opinions and ideologies among certain aspects of life. One of the main ones was about people of different races. This was a very controversial topic for my dad because he conspicuously did not hide his racist opinions and his stereotypes of different races and always thought bad of people regardless. But one of the main things he had a problem with were black people. He used to be (yeah, used to be) very racist towards them because he would always make assumptions and make a comment about every little thing they did. When I think about what my dad had said about people of the black community, it made me think about what the quote from “From Here to Equality ” was actually trying to say. I was under the influence of the words from the person I looked up to, I ended up being the “victim” of those ideas and it influenced me on what I tend to hold as my values for a long time even though I knew in my heart that it was wrong. Which brings me back to this quote from “Song of Solomon” on page 55 which states “Let me tell you right now the one important thing you will ever need to know: Own things. And let the things you own own other things. Then you’ll own yourself and other people too.” This quote makes me realize that in order to be perceived as someone who actually takes into consideration the life of others, I need to realize that I have my own thoughts to think about. I have always followed these toxic ideas from my dad to make him happy, but in the end it wasn’t making me happy. It was time for me to take charge and own my personal beliefs and live up to them without having to satisfy or have another person choose for me.

From my perspective, seeing these people in the shelter get discriminated against due to the circumstance of their background, skin color and many other stereotypes that have followed them for many many years, makes me reflect on everything that I have disregarded in my life. And because of these circumstances, since my family was not economically stable at the time along with many other people in the shelter(s). Which brings me to the quote Macon’s daughter Lena said in “Song of Solomon” on page 33 in which she states “What for? Those are white people’s houses,–Who’s gonna be living in them? There are no colored people who can afford to have two houses,” As for Lena, she gave me the idea that because I am not in the best financial situation, I shouldn’t expect much of obtaining necessities because I am a minority. I did not have the best opportunities compared to those people of higher class and things that I never got the chance to do. But it is because of these missed opportunities that I have learned and achieved things that someone of higher class would have never been able to understand. I live by these lessons of my childhood because they made me the person I am today.

Which is why I want to close this reflection with an acknowledgement that will help me improve my knowledge and understanding of the real issues that are happening in the world. In acknowledging these injustices, there could be change in many aspects of society. We are living in a generation where the voices of the people who have been silenced for so long take their chance and speak their voice, including me. The way I have never really focused on myself to explain how much these things actually affected me can also mean that I was also affected by the racial injustices because of still existing systemic racism but I never really acknowledged it. And yes, I can see things from other people’s perspectives, but what is most important is to see these truths through my own eyes as well so that I don’t have to fully depend on other people to have my own way of thinking. It is because I have started to think for myself that I have come more independent and started focusing more on myself than to have mentioned everyone in general. In the end it’s like I have come to say–don’t overthink to think for others when I can overthink to think for myself.

In order to understand my goals, I feel that it is imperative to state my values. Yet, to understand my values you must understand where I’ve come from, been, and plan to go. Therefore, before diving into my goals I would first like to share with you some of the experiences that have shaped my mindset today.  

Where I Am From: 

Coming from a majority Black charter school that was and is still deep rooted in conformity, I have always felt restricted in the way I thought. My first conscious experience with conformity was the strict uniform policies: light blue shirt neatly tucked in, navy blue slacks neatly ironed, all black shoes with no trace of color. No outside hoodies, and you must wear a sweater or tie as a “third piece” or you will receive a “demerit”. Enough demerits would result in being sent to the dean’s office or if you’re lucky, lunch detention.

The merit and demerit system is a behavioral correction system that as I got older, has become more transparent to me. The merit and demerit system (MDS), is presented as an aid to steer kids on a well behaved path by rewarding “good” behavior with “credits” and punishing “bad” behavior with “deductions”.  Students are able to “earn” credits by: participating in class/group discussion, supporting classmates, remaining focused, and consistently working in class. On the other hand, students would “earn” deductions for: missing a writing utensil, tardiness to school/class, turning in late homework, and uniform infractions. 

I remember going to the mall with my mother to get a pair of “all black” sneakers that suited the school’s policies. After going to three stores and being told that all the black vapor max were sold out, I had to settle for the all black shoe with a silver instead of black Nike check mark. The following day, I walked into school and somehow the Nike symbol, which quite literally took up a few centimeters of the shoe, was somehow spotted by the hawk eyes of one of my teachers. Despite my efforts to explain why I had to purchase a shoe that slightly did not meet the requirements, I was told the shoes were an issue and received detention whenever I wore them. I did not have any other options and had to wait until my mother could purchase me a pair of slip-on Vans which were not of as good quality, but were affordable at the moment. After a few months of active wear, my new shoes began falling apart. 

Where I Have Been:

I’ve included information about the merit-demerit system and my experience with the uniform policies in hopes that you can begin to imagine the behavioral environment I was raised in. However, the conformity was not only limited to behavioral correction but was also very apparent in academic settings. 

During my reading of Song of Solomon, I discovered my attitude towards my education is similar to Corinthians Dead’s experience with her family. Corinthians who was the, “daughter of a wealthy property owner and the elegant Ruth Foster, granddaughter of the magnificent and worshipped Dr. Foster”, constantly felt the pressures of her family’s elevated titles which often left her struggling to maintain an image that was not hers to keep. Due to these familial pressures, Corinthians remains guarded by her experience and it takes other characters to verbalize the experiences of Corinthians. When Magdalene Dead, Corinthians sister, opens about her and Corinthians experience growing up she says, “I was the one who started making artificial roses. Not Mama. Not Corinthians. Me. I loved to do it. It kept me quiet. That’s why they make those people in the asylum weave baskets and make rag rugs. It keeps them quiet.” Unlike Magdalene who was content with making the roses to pass time, “Corinthians continued to make roses, but she hated that stupid hobby and gave Lena any excuse to avoid it. They spoke to her of death.”

Similar to the Corinthians, I found myself sacrificing parts of myself to satisfy others. Corinthians was forced to sacrifice her youth in order to please her family, and I found myself sacrificing my creativity and individuality for a school who promoted both behavioral and academic conformity. Every assignment was prompted, right or wrong, a simple grade, and the “hard work” of the school year was summed up to a cumulative GPA based not on how much you understood the lessons’s content, but how well you scored on paper. The mentality of the school was ineffective, and instead of “getting the grade”, I started to retract from doing school work, particularly work that was promoted and formatted. I struggled with being the student that followed the prompt, not knowing that I was searching for an outlet to release creativity and produce work in an environment where I was not often pressured into bending into a standard. This caused me a lot of trouble in my junior year of high school with my writing seminar class. I started off strong, doing my work, meeting deadlines, focused on maintaining “the grade”, and slowly fell off. Instead of learning and being passionate about my work I was simply making artificial roses, trying to fulfill a means to an end. 

Where I Am Going: 

Now that I have graduated and escaped the conformity that was my high school, I am challenging myself to break free of the mentality that prompted writing is limiting. Instead, I want to push myself to find ways in which I am able to show individuality in my writing. Going into this class, and every class moving forward, I want to go in with the mentality that I am working to learn and grow as a free thinker. I want to push myself to find the opportunities within every assignment to know more, and to grab my education by the horns. That being said, I intend to find the common ground between doing work and finding my passion, despite my still very strong attraction to creative writing rather than literal writing. I look forward to motivating myself, and not only taking my college courses for a grade but for an opportunity to develop my mentality as a student, writer, and person. 

As for those reading who may relate or even understand, I want to push you to not let your biases shape how you enter new environments. I regret being stubborn and denying myself the opportunity to grow. The only way we can ever grow is to push through the uncomfortable, and I hope this essay can keep me grounded in the upcoming years of my education and life beyond.

“you just can’t fly on off and leave a body” – Toni Morrison, our course epigraph, one of the first things we talked about in INTD 105 writing seminar. We were told to analyze it and say what that epigraph meant to us and how it relates to our own lives. I saw it as you cannot grow as a person and leave your past self behind, instead you must embrace that side of you and grow as a person as you gain new knowledge and reflect on past experiences. For me to do that I must embrace my past and take what I’ve learned and reshape or recreate a way of doing things to become a better scholar. In the book “Song of Solomon” by Toni Morrison One character named Milkman faces the exact problem defined in the epigraph, he wants to live on his own and become his own person but his family and experiences where he was born stops him from leaving. He is unable to fly on-off without confronting the problems left back home similar to our own lives.

The book “Song of Solomon” is easy to get lost in, there are many instances of time jumping from one event with a character to another. Because of this, it is very easy to lose where you are in the story of Milkman our main protagonist. Compared to high school I had to use a deeper thought process to understand the premise of the story. For instance, At the beginning where the mother, Ruth, gave birth to Milkman and Mr. Smith jumped off the building and committed suicide (Morrison, 8). All of this was happening at once and the way Toni Morrison did such a good job mixing those ideas together made the reader question what was happening at the beginning of the book. But if you took the time to analyze and take a deeper look at the text the reader would be able to understand what was happening. In another instance in the text it says “let me tell you right now the one important thing you’ll ever need to know: Own things. And let the things you own other things. Then you’ll own yourself and other people too” (Morrison, 55). At first, I thought this passage was just a father trying to teach a kid a lesson about growing up, and it is, but if you look deeper at the history behind their family and the setting of the book you see it is related to their family pasts as enslaved people and how that influences how they view possessions. They have grown up knowing that owning things means power and that with those things you build up a reputation that others acknowledge. Doing this causes a part of them to die inside and makes them heartless and more closed off from their emotions.

The Syllabus provided by Dr. McCoy talks about what the course will look like this semester, what assignments we will have, and what is expected from us. But more importantly, it talks about self-grading and how it reflects our self-growth in the class stated here “Practicing how to perform meaningful, good-faith, principled self-assessment and accountability is an important professional and personal skill.” (McCoy Syllabus). I thought this was interesting because no other class that I’ve taken so far graded like that. In high school, it was all about getting good grades and remembering the information until the next test then it would fade away over the summer, but one thing that I remember Dr. McCoy saying is “I want you to learn something instead of remembering it”. What she said really piqued my interest because in school we really were just told to remember the information given instead of learning it by heart. For me to grow as a person and expand my horizons I need to take what I am taught by heart. I can’t do what I did in high school and just retain the knowledge until I didn’t need it anymore. The self-assessment is graded under many different categories scaling from 1-4. How much you look back at the documents provided to answer a question or improve your writing, participation in class discussions, using evidence to support my claim or my interpretation of the text, applying feedback from my peers into my writing, and giving feedback to my peers so they can grow as a person also. All the things listed might seem small and insignificant separated but together they are skills that people can use to improve their writing or advance the way they think. And taking what advice others give me I can use that to change what I have learned and break bad habits and improve my skills.

In the writing seminar class, there are about twenty people along with Professor McCoy, each with their own background that makes them think differently. One part of the syllabus talked about self-reflection and improving myself through our peer’s feedback and helping them with my own feedback and thoughts. It has been about 6 weeks of class but in that time, I can tell that each person has their own way of thinking and approaching information given to them and from that, I can use that help to me improve how I write and hopefully I can do the same for them. During each class, we get into discussions about either the book, vocab, a topic, or all three sometimes. But each time I get to understand how the people in my group think about a topic and I can use that to help me understand the topic better or understand their point of view better.

“you just can’t fly on off and leave a body” – Toni Morrison, For me to grow better and achieve higher heights I need to change and embrace new ways of learning. And the first step is knowing what I have learned so far and taking that, improving on it, and growing as a scholar.

The strong and mysterious quote by Toni Morrison given to us in the syllabus threw me for a loop when I first read it. I did not know where to start to unpack the meaning. When the class was asked to interpret our epigraph for the course, so many different meanings were revealed. Everyone had their own interpretation, which was refreshing and confusing at the same time. How would we ever determine the true meaning? Well, I have come to realize that there is not just one meaning to Morrison’s quote. To me, the quote, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” from Song of Solomon holds a lot of significance, not only in the book itself, but also in life. I believe it is about the importance of self accountability in upholding your responsibilities and having care, a valuable lesson that everyone could learn from. The course epigraph led me to create these goals for myself for this semester, to hold myself accountable to my responsibilities with care, not abandoning this class, and using these valuable insights outside of INTD 105.

With the sentiment that “you just can’t fly on off and leave a body,” as well as the book we will be studying throughout the course, the epigraph has a deeper meaning in Song of Solomon even before it is quoted. In the first chapter of the book, a man named Robert Smith was on top of a hospital, getting ready to jump. He was an insurance agent in the town the story is set in, and was not taken seriously by his clients or any of the townspeople. Robert wore makeshift blue wings atop of the building, as people stopped and watched to see if he would jump. Robert ended up jumping, and the reaction of the townspeople was minimal. After he jumped, the book included, “Jumping from the roof of Mercy was the most interesting thing he had done. None of them had suspected he had it in him. Just goes to show, they murmured to each other, you never really do know about people.” (Song of Solomon, pg. 8). The lack of regards that the people surrounding Robert Smith had towards him and his flight was shocking to me at first. How could no one care for a man who was about to fly away to his death on purpose? Though, the actual quote that is the basis for our class was not mentioned during this part of the book when there was a man trying to literally fly away. This made me wonder if there was any significance to this part of the book that will be revisited later, perhaps when the quote is read in its rightful place. I am wondering if it will be about responsibility. This brings me to a goal for this course. Even though INTD 105 is required for students for their general education, I still signed up to take this class and this section. I cannot turn on my responsibilities for this class and its work just because I do not feel it is important. I have a responsibility to do all of my work, with care, and try my best in the course. Leading my actions for this course with care is the most important thing for me this semester as it will show my responsibility and accountability that I owe to it.

Another way that I interpreted the quote, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body,” was the thought of abandonment. Leaving something, in this case a body, seems almost sacrilegious in the context of Morrison’s quote. To me, there is significance in the three words, “You just can’t.” The inclusion of “you” seems to call out the reader, or whoever the quote was being aimed towards in the book, which we do not know yet. This action is personal when I read it, almost like Morrison is directing the order at me. The inclusion of “just can’t” comes across as a plea. Flying off is not an option according to Toni Morrison, as for the body that you just can’t leave, we do not know yet what this is alluding to. The most significant interpretation that stuck with me was that you cannot abandon your responsibilities. If you just go off and leave something, it is never going to get done, leaving you with a task unaccomplished. There really is no escaping your responsibilities, whether big or small, they are still going to be there. The question is whether you face them, or deal with the consequences of avoiding them. As this course continues on, a goal of mine is to make sure that I complete all of my tasks and responsibilities to the best of my ability. If I do not complete something, it will still be there looming over me, most likely in the form of a zero in the gradebook. So, why not just complete it on time and not fly on off and leave that body. I believe that this sentiment will not only help me in this course, but in all aspects of my life and in my future.

Using the interpretation of the importance of carrying out your responsibilities from the class epigraph is beneficial to the entire course, as well as all courses in our educational careers. This course is intended for reading, writing, and discussion, and has a list of learning outcomes the students should have by the end of the course included in the syllabus. The second outcome is, “The ability to write and revise sustained, coherent and persuasive arguments on significant issues that arise from the content at hand” (syllabus, page 1). This means that by the end of the semester, we should be able to create our own arguments and writing pieces based on the readings and knowledge given to us. Being responsible and trying my best to implement these methods in my schoolwork will benefit me greatly in this class, as well as carry that knowledge to other classes. This also ties into the basis of our course, which is having good faith. In Dr. Beth’s welcome video to the class on canvas, she introduces the course and puts an emphasis on care. Specifically for our own growth, our peers, growth, and our own accountability. This welcome video not only introduces the course, but it establishes the responsibility that the students taking this course have. We have to most importantly be accountable to ourselves, with our actions, our discussions, and our work dedicated to the class. Without being accountable for ourselves and our responsibilities, we will get nowhere. It is up to the individual to face their responsibilities head on and give it their all, or else they will have to face whatever consequences and guilt comes their way. Being accountable in this course from the beginning has already helped me a great deal in how I approach my work, inside and outside of our class. Overall, in this INTD course and in all courses in someone’s educational career, it is up to the individual to be accountable for their responsibilities as students to facilitate an adequate and beneficial learning environment to grow and gain knowledge from.

Overall, Toni Morrison’s quote, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” holds a lot of meaning in one sentence. As our course epigraph, it is especially important to our class to follow its meanings and take them into consideration while conducting ourselves in and out of class. The goals I made for myself for this semester, tending to my responsibilities with care, not abandoning my work, and using the values I have learned outside of INTD 105, have been based off of this epigraph, which will inevitably establish itself as a part of my life forever.

“You just can’t fly on off and leave a body.” –Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

When I first read the epigraph for this course, it reminded me of my struggles in high school. In high school, especially my freshman and sophomore year, I had many friends with whom I spent much of the time with. Although we had our good times, they had so many problems (both personal and not) and because I was their friend, I thought it was my responsibility to let their problems into my life and to even try and fix them. Unfortunately, by doing just that, it took a very negative toll on me. As a result of this, I spent the first two years of high school worrying about other people’s problems instead of taking care of myself and it impacted my mental health in a negative way. It was something that I kept from my parents and friends because I didn’t want them to see how badly I was really suffering.

When COVID hit NYC and they had no choice but to keep us all home for the rest of my junior year, I was able to take a break from these people and I realized that I needed to spend some time worrying about my mental health and my family. After talking with some people who guided me to make the right decision, I also realized that in order to keep myself from going insane and finishing off the year strong, I needed to move on and let go of those people who were damaging my life to help make myself feel better both physically and emotionally.

When reading the course epigraph, I couldn’t help but relate it to my junior year when I moved on from those people who weren’t doing any good for me. The way I interpreted the epigraph was probably different from what others may interpret it. When you move on from someone, it is important to know that you will always have a piece of them, and they will always have a piece of you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a sexual relationship too; it can simply just be a friendship. Although those two years of my life were rough, I had friends with whom I went out and had experiences with that I can never forget about. Even though I might be moving on from them doesn’t mean some of the times we had were awful. In many cases, we bonded over a lot that we did together. Growing up in NYC was fun because there was always so much to do and although I may not be close to certain people anymore, I can’t hate on them. Something that I always hated was people who stopped being friends talking trash about each other. It always bothered me and even though I was upset with those people for involving their issues in my life, I wasn’t going to trash them because to me it feels like a terrible thing to do. As I looked over the course epigraph, I realized that this one seems more fit for me: “When you let go of someone, it is important to know that you will always have a piece of them, and they will always have a piece of you.” This new course epigraph feels better connected to my personal goal this semester which is to make some true friends. Being a freshman in both high school and college can be a challenge sometimes. Many people have told me that we make friends in college that will last a lifetime and I really want that for myself. Yeah, it may seem a bit selfish but after everything I have been through, I deserve to be a little selfish.

Based on this newly made epigraph, I believe that a goal that I have this year that can be based on the course is to grow as a writer. Based on the events that happened to me during those two years, I was able to take my personal experiences, write them as part of my personal essay and I was able to get into every college that I applied for with that essay. I think with this epigraph and with the readings of Song of Solomon and From Here to Equality I will be able to grow and become more mature as a writer. Something that I enjoy about this class so far is the idea that the students grade themselves. Although some people might use it for granted, I think this will be good for those who are honest with their skills and want to improve as a writer. I never met a professor/teacher who allowed the students to grade themselves for a semester and feel confident that those students won’t use it for granted.

Another goal that I have is to learn more about the history of African Americans and exactly what is being done to compensate those who had ancestors who were enslaved. When I first opened it up and read the first page of From Here to Equality, I honestly thought that this book would be boring. Whenever I read new books, I always look at the pages and if the font looks a certain way, I automatically assume that it is going to be boring. When I looked at From Here to Equality the size of the font made me assume that this book would be boring. However, as I started to read more, everything just unfolded in my mind almost. This book talks about many events in the 1800s and 1900s that I have either heard once about or not at all. (In the book, there was this one event that occurred in Florida I heard maybe once before but having the authors expand on it made me even more intrigued about it). I believe that this book will educate me and my peers more about the tough past many enslaved people had to live in. I love history so whenever I learn something new it always excites me. When I first bought this book, I thought that it was going to be another book from like 20 years ago talking about justice for those who had families who were enslaved. However, I was surprised and very happy with the fact that this book is only a year old. This helps provide us with way more accurate information in which I am very excited about.

After reading most of the book Song of Solomon, there was this one quote that stuck out to me. “You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.” This one quote relates to the struggles that I have been through and what I want to leave behind. Valuing yourself is something that everyone should do, and it is important that we remind ourselves that our needs come first before everyone else’s. After everything that I have struggled with, I always tell myself that it is time to move on and try something new and exciting and I plan on just doing that.

In the course epigraph, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon offers an important message to be understood in order to continue thinkING over the course of the semester. The idea of emphasizing the end of thinkING is a concept that Beth McCoy stresses to encourage students to analyze information as a continuous process, rather than having one definitive thought about a subject. Combining discussions held in class, readings, and personal experiences and opinions, and keeping the course epigraph in mind, I hope to frame this piece of writing as an outline to achieve the two contradictory goals I have for this course: to be a memorable student while also being easily forgotten.

Before I begin unpacking what “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” from Song of Solomon means, I have to first understand its definition is fluid, and subject to change when the basis of my knowledge shifts. At this point in the novel, I have only read four chapters, and I am only three weeks into this course. Therefore, the meaning of the quote, and where it will lead in the future is an important distinction to make. My understanding of the quote is that all the choices you make in life lead you to becoming the person you are presently, and who you will become in the future. I equate this quote to not forgetting where you came from in hopes that it will make you a better person. Remembering your past experiences, and the people in your past is an invaluable part of becoming a better version of yourself.

Borrowing from some information I wrote in class on relating the term palimpsest to Song of Solomon, I can relate Macon Jr. and Pilate back to the meaning in our course epigraph. Based on the definition of palimpsest from Oxford Languages, it is defined as something or someone reused or altered but still bearing traces from its original form. This is represented in Song of Solomon with Macon Jr. and Pilate. Macon Jr. hides beneath her window because he wants to be close to his sister, but he is embarrassed and ashamed of her, even though they came from the same place. No matter how hard you try, starting over with absolutely no ties to your past is nearly impossible to do. Referring back to the information from that earlier assignment, I came to realize that the characters cannot escape their histories because everything that has happened in or around their lives is the reasoning behind why they are who they are presently. Changing through time, but still giving credit to where they have been, is why understanding the term palimpsest is crucial to the understanding of the individual calamities the characters of Song of Solomon face, and how each event makes them grow closer together.

When I first began thinkING about what the course epigraph meant, I immediately looked for ways to explain it in Song Of Solomon, and then related the information I gathered there to current events and news to thoroughly understand the point of the epigraph. This was made possible once I had read chapter two of From Here to Equality, which poses the question, “If blacks are not drowning, they ask, why throw them a special lifeline?” At first, I struggled with what that meant, and why Darity and Mullen chose to ask this question to the reader. Then, I remembered the recent controversy regarding the Black Lives Matter movement, and how some people thought it would be more appropriate to say All Lives Matter. At the height of this argument, I had a difficult time understanding why people were getting upset with others who wanted to say All Lives Matter. The Parable of the Lost Sheep from Matthew 18 in the Bible, made me come to terms with what the message behind the Black Lives Matter movement is. In this parable, Matthew described a shepherd who leaves his flock of ninety nine sheep, to try and find one sheep that was led astray. This explains how one person is not more important than another and within this message there is a cry for people to understand their value and worth. This is important to mention in my goal setting essay, because I know that I am destined for greatness, like all of my peers, but I just have to put in the time and effort, along with valuable thinkING to get me there.

Discussing the epigraph and what it means has made me set two contradicting goals for myself, the first one being: to leave a memorable impression on those around me. This goal came to fruition when Beth told the class that one of her personal goals for the semester was to be forgotten by the time she was done teaching us the lessons she thought were necessary and important for our growth as students and individuals. When she said this I was confused, I wondered why a professor would want her students to forget her when she was only starting to make her mark on us. I decided I wanted the opposite of her goal, and I want to be remembered. One of my goals for this course is to have new and exciting ways of thinkING about certain topics, and have those ideas be remembered. I think it would fulfill my hopes if I was able to shed light onto a topic that someone might not know exists, or they were choosing to ignore.

The other half of my goal for this course is to be forgotten, much like Beth’s thought that inspired my goal to be remembered. This contradictory goal is deceiving, because as I started thinkING about why Beth would want her students to forget her, it made me realize that I could make the assumption that she hopes we find what she has taught us to be much more important than the vessel it was delivered by. This assumption is what led me to reflect Beth’s idea in my second goal: to be forgotten. Similarly to why I want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten because I don’t think my name has any impact on my thoughts. I don’t need people to remember my name, but I hope people will remember my ideas.

These contradictory goals I have set for myself are mirrored in Song of Solomon, as Toni Morrison creates a novel that defines memory and forgetting as terms that are so different, that they begin to warp until the reader sees the similarities between them. In the second chapter of Song of Solomon the narrator describes Macon Jr., “His voice sounded different to Milkman. Less hard, and his speech was different. More southern and comfortable and soft” (Morrison, page 52). Memory is capable of softening and changing Macon Jr. into something that he is not currently, because money has made him hard. Similarly, Ruth’s memory was triggered by a different sense, described by the narrator, “The house smelled fruity and she remembered how the peach had nauseated her the last time she was there…” (Morrison, page 135). Morrison shows how memories can be shifted and warped to fit what one wants to remember, which is often heightened by the senses.

The meaning behind the course epigraph, stated by Toni Morrison, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” is forever changing as my thinkING process develops. In the future, the meaning I originally thought these words held could seem like a faraway notion, some thought I cannot grasp anymore. Although I can prepare myself for the changes that lie ahead in the course with new information stemming from Song of Solomon, From Here to Equality, and Beth, there is no way to know what the future holds. This is exciting, and unnerving to think about because there are so many possibilities, but I know that I will never lose sight of where I came from, even if I feel myself slowing down, going unnoticed or feeling alone, I will remain true to myself, and not Change My Face.

My original impression of the course epigraph was that you cannot move on with life and forget about everything you have left behind. The most important takeaway I made from the epigraph was rather than trying to recreate yourself as a person and a student, it is more beneficial to combine what you already know with what you are learning. I think that this train of thought will benefit me in this class because while I am in a new school and beginning a new time, it is important to remember all that I have already learned. I can always improve my skills that I currently have while basing them off what I already know. For example, while the kind of writing I am doing in college now may be different than what I did in high school, I still have knowledge and a base of what I did in high school to help me along the way. My main goal for myself this semester would be to not be afraid to go back and read over my work once I have finished as well as taking constructive criticism and using it to my advantage rather than letting it frustrate me and unmotivated me. In the past, I was never big on going back to my completed work and seeing what I could do to improve it. Especially senior year. I had an attitude of getting the assignment done would bring me that much closer to graduating instead of making sure I am putting out my best work and listening to feedback and making corrections. I also would like to become more comfortable with public speaking and speaking in person with my professors and peers about my work. Rather than letting the nervousness and fear consume me, I know it will be beneficial to be able to open about my writing and hear what others have to say about it so that I can improve upon it. I believe I will be able to accomplish all these goals throughout the duration of this course.

This course of thought for me came from the course epigraph, “You just can’t fly on off and leave a body” (Toni Morison, Song of Solomon). In class when we tried to unpack this quote, I wasn’t sure exactly what it meant to me. Now that we have this assignment, I looked at the epigraph more in depth and picked apart what I thought it meant in relation to my goals for this course. I interpreted this quote to mean that rather than trying to recreate yourself as a person and a student, it is more beneficial to combine what you already know with what you are learning. My previous knowledge is a base to grow and learn from as I continue with my college career as well as my writing. It also ties back into my main goal of not being afraid to go back and look at my work and use the constructive criticism to improve it. I won’t improve as a writer and as a student if I don’t do my absolute best to make my work the highest standard I expect of myself. By moving forward while not being afraid to go back on previous works I have done, my writing and skills will improve tremendously, and my goals will be very reachable. In the syllabus for this course, it is stated, “It gets you in the practice of bouncing your thinking off of someone/something else” (Dr. McCoy, Course Syllabus).

Another goal of mine would be to become more comfortable with public speaking and speaking to my peers about the work we have put out. I have always been a nervous public speaker and I tend to try to shy away from having to talk to others about my work. I took a speech and communications class in high school and while it improved my abilities, I still get nervous. Relating to the course epigraph and my interpretation of it, using my previous knowledge from the speech class that I took and combining that with the new learning elements of this year will all come together with work and time to make me a better student and a more effective speaker. Without reinventing myself as a speaker, I can simply add on to the skills I already possess. During this course, I hope to become more confident in my work to the point where I feel less nervous talking about my work with others and being able to help them with there’s.

The book, Song of Solomon, by Toni Morrison is where the original course epigraph came from. There are many more important points throughout this book that led me to the goals I have set for myself. A final goal that I have realized I want to achieve since beginning to read this book is to be sure that I am not adding too many random and unnecessary details or sentences to my writing just to make it longer and reach the word count. It is important to make sure everything I add to my writing is beneficial to my piece, rather than having no use. In chapter 8 author wrote, “Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down” (Morrison, 179). In the past, I have found that I tend to add a lot of useless words to reach my word count which in turn brings down the effectiveness and interest in my essay. The sentences I add to extend the length of my essay that don’t have much thought put into them would be the stuff that weighs down my piece from reaching its full potential. While this is a change I wish to make from my past, it is important that I remember those same mistakes I have made so that I am able to learn from them in my future writing. Instead of becoming a whole new writer completely, I am better off proofreading my essay and looking for the past mistakes I have made and the things in my essay that aren’t adding any value in order to improve my work.

I feel very strongly about my goals for this course. I wish to improve as a writer the most that I can while I start out my college career so that I am always putting out my best work. I will use the base knowledge I have to improve on my skills and become a better student all around. The syllabus and books we have been reading have provided insight into what goals I choose to make for myself and allow me to start thinking about the best ways I can achieve these goals. The talks in class have already made me a better student. By connecting my thoughts and opinions to another students’, I have learned to be more involved in the class because I truly must listen to everything that is being said in order to form my own perspective. To reiterate my goals for this course, I wish to be a better student and person overall. I want to be able to take criticism and use it to my advantage rather than letting it hold me back. Realizing that the corrections are only there to help me improve my work will help me to realize that they are much more positive than negative things. I want to be able to openly speak about the writing I have produced and be proud of it rather than being embarrassed and nervous. I hope to improve on what I already know and be able to develop into the writer I wish to be. I hope that I achieve all these goals as I continue INTD-105 and that I can become the best version of myself.