The last days of my first semester

Since midterms, classes have been tougher and more tedious. During, midterms, I didn’t have a ton of exams. However, it was still stressful with the exams that I did have. I could have gotten better grades, but I struggle with studying and taking notes. In high school I went to an alternative school that did not require tests or homework. That being said I feel behind in that aspect . However, I am getting used to college life. As for school, it has gotten a lot colder being here. It has gone into daylight savings time, so when I leave my night class, it is dark outside. Winter is also creeping around the corner, making walking to classes that much colder. Even having the window open gets too cold but having it closed makes the room smell off. Midterms being over, I feel like it’s time to buckle down, study for finals and get everything in order.  

By the end of the semester I hope that I pass all my final exams and I pass all my classes. I have set my bar low, so it can only go up from here! I am not doing my best in some of my classes, but I am still trying my best. I hope that if I study hard enough and get a good grade on my finals, it will surpass all my other bad grades. I hope that by the end of the semester, I will enjoy school a little bit more. I also want to stop eating out as much and start using the dining hall more often. The classes that I want to focus on the most would be psychology and microeconomics. I struggle with psychology because I am not good at taking notes, and the tests are not easy. My psychology professor also only has 4 exams which makes it tough because if you do bad on two then you have a bad grade for the class. I wish that he had more assignments for that class so that I could get my grade up. As for microeconomics, there are a lot of assignments which is the only thing that is saving me. My grade in that class is terrible because I am awful at taking tests and exams, but I get hundreds on homework and papers. However, exams account for most of the final grade.  

In all since midterms there have been many more assignments with tedious tasks, but I don’t mind them too much because if you do them, then it’s an easy grade I want to pass my exams and hopefully get good passing grades in my classes. I want to learn how to study better and the proper techniques to take tests and exams. I want to pass my microeconomics final exam with at least a seventy or higher. In psychology, I want to be able to take the last exam and get an eighty or higher. All and all, I want to get my work completed before it is due and completed with solid scores. Lastly, I want my final GPA to be at least 2.5 or higher. I don’t think my GPA defines all that I know or even how smart I am, but GPAs are part of college life, and I hope to make it go up from here.  

Life in Geneseo

Since the beginning of the semester, things have been getting better. My classes are beginning to pick up, making them much more interesting. However, with that comes a lot of quizzes and exams. Most of them are open notes which makes it a lot easier. Nevertheless, it’s still difficult because you must study for them because you are timed and if you spend all your time looking up the answers you will run out of time for the exam. I have yet to fail a test, but it’s bound to happen. I have yet to make any real freshman friends, but I have gotten a lot closer to my roommate. The food here is some of the worst food I have ever eaten in my whole life. If I had known that the food would be this terrible.

I enjoy my lectures the most because they don’t really notice you, and all you must do is be there and take notes, which I find to be the most enjoyable. You go so unnoticed that you can be out of class one day, and no one would even notice you. I like the anonymity of the lectures and how discreet you can be. Dorm living is terrible, I live in Onondaga hall, which is nicknamed dirty Daga. There is no AC, and the rooms can get so hot at night, it’s unbearable. They give us very little room to live. I don’t mind my roommate.

By the end of the semester, I hope to be more confident. I want to be more confident in classes and as a person. I want to be able to pass all my classes, maybe even get good grades. I aspire to find more friends that I can be comfortable with that are close to me. The most important part about college is time management and giving yourself breaks. All you do is work. If you have a pause then the work is manageable. I want to enjoy college and say that it is enjoyable by the end of the semester. I hope to make it to winter break without dropping out and maybe enjoy it a bit. By the end of the semester, I also hope that by the end of the semester I won’t be so dependent on my parents anymore. I continue to go home on the weekends to see my parents and get an intermission from college. Despite that, I would like to become more self-sufficient and not rely on them so much.

In all, I have been doing better though, I am not where I would like to be. I want to be more self-reliant and have friends as well as better grades. I feel like this is attainable with hard work and determination, and help from others. I have been trying to reach out to people to get help and achieve my goals of being the best student I can be. I want to make others proud, but most importantly, I want to be proud of myself.

The first semester

My name is Caitlin Oropallo. I am from a small town in upstate NY called Corning. I live with my parents and my brother, who is a senior here at Geneseo. I am a flame worker at the Corning Museum of Glass, also known as CMOG. I enjoy special effects makeup. I like to make makeup videos on TikTok and show my work from start to finish. It helps distract me from life for a while. I struggle immensely with mental health. It has gotten a lot worse and much harder to deal with since I am on my own in college. Everyday things are a struggle for me. The main thing that I struggle with is Bipolar Disorder. The episodes that come along with my diagnosis affect me tremendously daily. Now that I am on my own, it is the worst that it has ever been. My diagnosis doesn’t define me, but it is a large part of me.

In the weeks leading up to coming to college, I cried every day. I was so anxious, and my nerves were taking over. Then the time finally came, and I moved to the dorm. It was nothing like I had expected. It was much simpler than I had anticipated. The first time I met my roommate, I was so nervous; my mind was running rampant. We didn’t connect right away. I thought she hated me. After some time, we grew on each other, and now we are great friends. I didn’t expect to make friends right away, however, I had foreseen making some friends by now. Nonetheless I have not and that has been hard on me. I go home on the weekends, and my parents come up twice a week because I am struggling with life on campus. I have gone to some parties and I have made a lot of friends with juniors and seniors, but I can’t really do things with them. They don’t have a meal plan, so I can’t go out to eat with them. They live across campus and have hectic lives, so it’s hard to hang out with them. Normally, I just sit alone in my room and eat dinner by myself because I have no one to go to the dining hall with most times. There are times, I sit in my room alone and think about how crappy life is right now. My mental health has deteriorated so much I contemplate dropping out every day. I just want to go home and be with my parents. I know that I can’t do that. I want to be either a pediatric surgeon or a psychiatrist. If I drop out, then I will never achieve my goals. Right now, I don’t know if I can handle college. I’m afraid I will do poorly on my assignment because I can’t find the motivation to do much of anything. I dread going to classes, but I also have a fear of being a failure. My anxiety is telling me to get what I need to get done, but my depression and my depressive episode are just telling me to stay in bed and watch Netflix all day. I barely eat, and I sleep maybe 4 hours every day. Everyone told me that college was the best time of their lives. It just doesn’t feel that way. However, there is one class that I am enjoying. I am enjoying my INTD writing class. It’s a little early of me but, I enjoy it because everyone is very friendly and I really like my professor!

In all, college has been a struggle for me. I don’t know how to ask for help, and I certainly can’t do it on my own. I am stuck in a hard place right now. I have hope that things will get better, however, it just doesn’t feel that way. I don’t want to give up, but everything in me is telling me to. I haven’t expressed this to anyone because I don’t want any handouts or people to pity me, but this has been my experience with college so far.