Wishful thinking

This semester did not go the way I was thinking it was going to go. I expected it to go in the complete opposite direction than it did. I surprised myself this semester. by succeeding in ways I didn’t know I could. I was expecting to fail miserably in all of my classes and to not do well on my assignments. I am doing much better than I thought I would in school. I am getting good grades and putting lots of effort into my assignments. I am also participating in classes, reaching out to other peers, and making new friends. That was something I never thought I could do.

I expected my mental health to be at as rock bottom as it could go and to shut down completely just to make it through the semester completely. But I didn’t. I got good grades and studied hard. I learned to balance my job with school and my personal life. I found a way and drive home still every weekend for work, have time to see my family, and friends from high school. I also went home to stay a few nights in my room at home, which is my safe place. I’m in a much better place than I was at the beginning of the semester. I wish I knew the reason. I think it’s a mix of therapy as well as going home often. Like I mentioned, my room at home is my safe place. I always had a fallback, an escape route, if you will so that if everything gets overwhelming or becomes too much for me to handle, I always have a plan B.

I was fortunate this semester with how everything turned out for me. I hope for the spring semester that everything I worked hard for this semester will remain the same as well as I hope my mental health remains as it is now. It is at a place that I can manage. My manageable mental health has been the one thing keeping me going in terms of motivation and dedication towards my school work. Without it, I think I would be in a much bigger hole, and it would show negatively in my school work and performance. I hope next semester my teachers are just as caring and open-minded as they are this semester and that my classes are as easy going next semester just like they have been this semester. My wish for next semester is that I am happy and successful.

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