Referring to my first blog, my freshman year experience was not one to be envied. The first few weeks really reflected my struggle to adjust to the new environment and style of living. The middle chunk of the semester was (surprise, surprise) also bad. I completely stopped going to my classes and started trailing behind on work. This feeling of falling off the boat in the middle of the semester is not a new one. Even in middle and high school, I’ve always felt a loss of motivation and participation in school as winter approaches. Another professor of mine felt the same way. She had mentioned that the end of the semester always seems to be denser and more work-heavy than the beginning, which is true considering most students are prepping for exams and keeping up with their regular work. So, when I noticed the signs of slowing down last year, I figured it would turn out the same as it always had: turning in homework a little late, being slightly behind on knowledge for tests, but eventually picking up pace and being on track for the rest of the year. This, however, was not the case; I neglected to realize that college professors are not so forgiving as high school teachers when it comes to due dates, especially if you don’t email them or try to communicate with them in any way. (Looking back on this I realize how dumb an assumption it was.) It led to a significant drop in my grades and the overall result of failing nearly every class, (except for a lab that I just barely managed to pass).
Then again, this semester, the ever-growing stagnation of academics began to rear its ugly horns. Despite the worry one might experience, knowing the previous outcome of these circumstances, I have not fallen completely behind to the point of no return. With a lot of work and external motivators, I continue to pass all my courses, and I think I will keep this up until the end of the semester! 😊 If I do manage to do well this semester; I will no longer be on academic probation, which is one less thing to worry about for the upcoming spring semester. Also, I have concluded that seasonal depression may play a factor in why many people begin to feel this way every year.
Another issue that I have that I’ve been able to single out is loneliness. Although it seems obvious that being alone is sad, I feel as though many people don’t understand the effects of true loneliness, especially long-term. Chronic loneliness is super damaging to one’s mental health. You begin to feel like no one wants to be around you, which makes working with other people difficult. Being alone isn’t all bad, though; it’s an opportunity to become more confident in yourself and allows you to be comfortable doing things on your own. I think being alone has lessened my anxiety when going to different places because I know I have no one to rely on and must do things myself; therefore I am more confident in my own decisions.
This class is the one where I am the most behind (And to Prof. Arena, I am sorry for that.), and turning in this assignment is one step towards catching up. Besides motivation, I also struggle to be inspired enough to develop a good story to tell, hence why writing this took so long, but I also came up with an idea for the final post, so I will easily finish that one. Overall, I have high hopes for this class and the rest of my courses. I believe I am on the right track to succeeding and will finish the semester strong.